forty four years, 7 months, and twenty five days old

my son was thirteen today, and I ate steadily, nay, chomped my way through a bowl of nachos, four sausage rolls, a slice of chocolate cake, (home made by Ghengis, partner with an attitude problem), three glasses of ribena, and a fudge finger.
The children, (mine) were vile. Son with aspergers alternately shrieked, hit, and bit people. pixie like five year old roared when "her" friend dared play with someone else. A friends child pooed himself, and I left him to stew slowly in his own juices. Ghengis kept emerging apoplectic with rage to shout at the ensembled kinder, who discovered that SWITCHING the bouncy castle off, and letting it collapse on TOP of everyone, was THE BEST FUN<>
Sultry pierced princess, (l8 going on 2 and half, still has trantrums) screamed and bounced the loudest and hardest.
I weigh around l4 stone, am shaped like a condom filled with water, and now take primark size l8 trousers. I need to a. lose weight, b. find a reason to lose weight, and c. do it pretty fast before I turn into those people who are so big, they lie around in bed all day wearing nappies, and ordering eight chinese takeaways at a time.
They must have people to enable them, but seriously, how could you "love" someone whose bottom you had to clean. That is venturing into fetish territory.
Going away next week, leaving four of the five kinders, Ghengis, my mother, and a beautiful, thin, fun, Polish au pair to look after the family. Will report back to blog after being away.
ciao,
Antonia